“Fire me. It doesn’t matter.”
I said this to a colleague while working as a pediatrician in a high-pressure clinical environment in the Middle East.
It wasn’t recklessness. It was clarity.
That moment marked a shift. I stopped operating from need and started operating from choice. Once you accept the worst-case scenario, something changes:
- Pressure drops
- Expectations stabilize
- You stop negotiating your standards
You are no longer reacting. You are deciding.
Leadership teaches you this quickly.
We often hear principles like:
“Less is more.”
“Kill your darlings.”
These are not design principles.
They are survival strategies.
The Principle
Engagement is a decision, not a reaction.
Maturity is not avoiding conflict.
It is choosing where your energy actually belongs.
The Selective Engagement Model
Not everyone deserves the same level of access to you.
- Expanders → People who sharpen your thinking
Action: Invest deliberately
- Operators → Necessary professional relationships
Action: Execute with discipline
- Drainers → Repeatedly consume energy without adding value
Action: Reduce exposure without noise
The Rule of Three
If an interaction drains you without adding value three times in a row, reclassify it.
No emotion.
No overthinking.
Just clarity.
“Less is more” is not about doing less.
It is about removing what does not deserve your attention.
“Kill your darlings” is not about loss. It is about discipline.
Your energy is not public property.
You don’t lose energy by doing too much.
You lose it by engaging where it was never required.
Summary:
I didn’t win the battle because I walked away, but because I chose when to engage and when not to exhaust myself. Maturity is not about stepping away from everything, but about managing your energy with precision.
This morning’s calm, over coffee, is not the absence of challenge. It is the result of choosing how to face it.
Dr. Suliman E. Ahmed, M.D.
Founder & CEO | Dr. Suliman Advisory Group
Strategic Healthcare Advisory | Research | Innovation
